It was only 10 in the morning I realized that my stomach is crying for food. I remembered going to the shop at 10 pm last night for some supper. But I didn’t have my supper last night… unexpectedly…
Because I was crying.
I went to the shop happily after coming back from Maryam’s place.
But when I was home I cried. Actually I had a phone call and I cried after the phone call.
I had cried a days before the last night.
These 2-3 days was really full of tears.
I am not of the type that would be crying easily. I had my friends blown up, they threw bad words to me, and it was supposed to be more than scratching my heart, I thought I shouldn’t be looking at their faces anymore but I was happily going on, and still am, with them (but not really close, just enough to say that we’re ex-housemates). The good thing is, they know that they’re wrong during the incident, and they know that they can’t say anything to see me cry.
Forget about them.
But this pathway… this da’wah… it kills me from inside. This da’wah unexpectedly turns me into a fragile girl at a perspective. Maybe because I fall in love so much with it. I love those sisters and brothers that I cannot say that I am ready to lose them. I can’t bear it.
I know it was also my fault… but then I was sandwiched.